Self-Control

Self Control

Medication- Are our children over-medicated? Page 86: //A growing number of experts feel that in many cases Ritalin is being prescribed for kids with poorly developed impulse control and thinking patterns that are due to a combination of negative social influences and poor parenting and not for true neurologically or biologically caused impulse problems.”//

We discussed this for a long time- When a child is experiencing symptoms of having self control issues (lack of success in school mostly), you go to the Pediatrician who asks you to have the teacher (the very same person who is evaluating the success (or lack thereof) your child is having) fill out a checklist. This is soft data. This does not seem like enough information to prove or disprove biological or neurological roots. However, if you as a parent have taken the initiative to seek the advice of a Pediatrician- you are most likely at your frustration level because you have tried to teach your child routines for success.

We also discussed insecurities manifesting as a lack of self-control.

Rewards vs. Consequences

A book; __Drive__ by Daniel Pink- talks about traditional “carrots and sticks” motivation vs. training intrinsic motivation.

Page 103: One tactic the book recommends is to change your pronouns-

From “**I** am really proud of how hard you worked today.”

To: “**You** must be really proud of how hard you worked today.”

Page 104: Another Tactic: Have your child acknowledge themselves and the self-control that they demonstrate in different situations.

Develop emotional vocabulary by having children talk about and explain why they do things that they do.

One tactic used by a member of the group: She has her children say something nice or something that they admire about each other after a conflict is resolved.

Super Nanny’s 8 Step Time Out procedure

We discussed allowance and money issues- how kids don’t “get” that money isn’t just available all of the time. It is something that you earn. Several members of the group agreed that they do not pay kids for chores- kids have a responsibility of being part of the family.

· One group Member shared that she has experienced kids giving flippant answers about money because they appear to have no concept of value and say simply, “my parents will pay for it.”
 * ATM cards do not give an accurate picture of spending/saving.